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Friday, January 22, 2010
Au Speaks Out: Me An De Fur Brain
Wot did i say back in nohvembur? i sed i will blog wunse for sharon becos she is always very respektful. Wunse, i sed. an here we are, wif me blogging again!
de feemale survunt begged an begged an begged an i sed NO but then she sed dat if i doo, she will make me somefin special. i am thinking ros chikkun or maybee ros beef.
my subjekt today is targut, my fur friend house mate. targut kame to live wif us abowt 2 years ago. my fur friend scoop, may he rest in peece with bowls of chikkun everywhere always, had past away an i was sad. de feemale playd wif me lots and so did de male but i mist my fur friend. so den won day de feemale goes owt and koms bak with dis big kage an dis little kat. it waz targut.
at furst targut hisst at me. he hisst at me in my own howse! dis shows how stoopid he is. but den he sed sorree an now we are gud frends.
targut is my frend but let me tell yoo privatlee: targut is a fur brain. he has no sense at all. honust. i kan pruv dis.
1. targut invites oddur katz into owr gardun. 2. targut shares owr biskuts wif de kats akross de street. 3. targut is skared of noisus, even soft ones like falling leafs.
targut is also klumsee. two munfs ago he dislohkateud his paw. now he is bettur he is brayking stuff. at krismus he smasht a watur glass. last week he jumpt on de taybul an smashed de feemale survunt's favourite tea mug. an today he almost smasht a plate onlee de survunt kaught it. sumtimes she is kwik like a kat. espeseeally when she gifs me medicine... but dat's anodder storee....
aldough targut is a fur brain he is furry good at begging. you kan see us in de piktshures, singing at de male survunt to hurree up an are eating owt of de biskut barrel. i am de wun wif de handsome white tummee.
targut is good at begging becos he says MEEP insted of MEOW most times. de hoomans think dis is kute. so wen i want ekstra treets an dey say NO BECOS YOO ATE JUS 5 MINOOTES AGO i get targut to say MEEP? an den dey usually gif in.
dis is kalled peepul managemunt. allso fur brain managemunt.
I love it when you write, Au! you should write more often. Better yet, you should write a book! I'm not sure what your female servant is willing to compromise to achieve this... but your book will surely sell and you will get a lot of money and the money should all go to you for your own enjoyment, however you choose. Also, I think you are very, very clever at people management, and fur brain management. Target is lucky to have you as a leader.
And yoo shal hev lots of treets, Au! Coz yoo are so klever! Target is not a fur brain. He noes how to say meep at de rait time. He likes to share. He is smart but not as smart as yoo. I wil come soon and bring treets. Best wishes to your female survunt.