Katz And Other Tales

Katz Tales by Ellen Whyte Book front cover image

Logomania by Ellen Whyte Book front cover image

I have two new books out! Click on the images above for free sneak peeks.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

COT: Au's Endorsement For Water Conservation Initiative

Here is Au with an important message about water conservation...

OK dis is a furry important thing: too many peepul are washing their katz. Dis is a waste of watur. Washing katz must be stopt!

If you want to wash stufff, be kleen and use your tongue. Soap is nasty. Watur is nasty. Don't be nasty. Be kleen!

Dis endorsemunt kums from the hart. De ham i haf been promissed is just a presunt from my gud frend. OK? And speeking of ham. WHERE IS MY HAM????

Note: The picture is of Scoop having a bath. We call this The Octopus Spread.

For more cats, check out Gattina who hosts Cats on Tuesday.

Now for the meme: Water is precious, yet it is being wasted or poorly managed. You can help promote water conservation by sending on this meme. If you do, simply follow these rules:

1. Create a blog entry entitled "Water Conservation Initiative".
2. Post the Water Initiative Network's Water Facts in your post.
3. List 3 things YOU will do to save water.
4. Add in the photo above, or any photo you have taken of a waterfall, river or lake.
5. End with the line: "Find out more about water conservation and good governance by joining the Water Initiative Network on Facebook! Visit us here at: Water Initiative Network!

Tag 5 or more blog/FB friends. Be sure to copy the rules, okay?

~ WATER FACTS ~

1. Of every 100 drops of water on earth, 97 are too salty to drink, 2 are locked in ice and snow, and 1 is fresh water.

2. The daily requirement for sanitation, bathing, and cooking needs, as well as for assuring survival, is about 50 litres per person.

3. Reducing shower time from 20 mins to 8 mins saves up to 360 litres of water per shower.

4. A small drip from a faucet can waste as much as 75 litres of water a day.

5. Two thirds of the water used in a home is used in the bathroom. To flush a toilet, we use up to 9 litres of water.

6. Water-efficient toilets and washing machines are good ways to save water.

7. A low-tech way to save water is to form the habit of turning on the tap to low flow and turning it off when the water is not needed.

8. Non-revenue water (i.e. stolen or wasted water) constitutes 36% of water 'used' in Selangor, Malaysia, and this raises the cost of water for everyone.

9. Water supply infrastructure cost billions of ringgit. This money could be spent in more useful ways.

10. Large areas of forests are cleared to make way for water supply dams to accommodate our soaring demand for water. These forests and their wildlife represent our natural heritage.

~ 3 THINGS I WILL DO TO SAVE WATER~

1. Fix the leaky pipe in the loo downstairs.
2. Use the Save cycle more often.
3. Try to convince my neighbours not to have their maids wash their cars every darn day.

Find out more about water conservation and good governance by joining the Water Initiative Network on Facebook! Visit us here at:
http://www.facebook.com/#!/group.php?gid=282587736385&ref=nf

I'm tagging:

Homeschooler Fun In The Sun
Homeschooler Alicia
Nature lover Mizzy, Kancing Itu Buntang
Cat Pal Anya and Kareltje
Bath Hater Dennis and his Diary of Destruction

If you want to keep in touch with updates, here are some simple ways:
Subscribe to Katz Tales in a reader
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Labels: Au speaks out, Cats On Tuesday

posted by katztales @ 8:34 AM (16) comments links to this post | 16 comments

Friday, January 22, 2010

Au Speaks Out: Me An De Fur Brain

Wot did i say back in nohvembur? i sed i will blog wunse for sharon becos she is always very respektful. Wunse, i sed. an here we are, wif me blogging again!

de feemale survunt begged an begged an begged an i sed NO but then she sed dat if i doo, she will make me somefin special. i am thinking ros chikkun or maybee ros beef.

my subjekt today is targut, my fur friend house mate.

targut kame to live wif us abowt 2 years ago. my fur friend scoop, may he rest in peece with bowls of chikkun everywhere always, had past away an i was sad. de feemale playd wif me lots and so did de male but i mist my fur friend. so den won day de feemale goes owt and koms bak with dis big kage an dis little kat. it waz targut.

at furst targut hisst at me. he hisst at me in my own howse! dis shows how stoopid he is. but den he sed sorree an now we are gud frends.

targut is my frend but let me tell yoo privatlee: targut is a fur brain. he has no sense at all. honust. i kan pruv dis.

1. targut invites oddur katz into owr gardun.
2. targut shares owr biskuts wif de kats akross de street.
3. targut is skared of noisus, even soft ones like falling leafs.

targut is also klumsee. two munfs ago he dislohkateud his paw. now he is bettur he is brayking stuff. at krismus he smasht a watur glass. last week he jumpt on de taybul an smashed de feemale survunt's favourite tea mug. an today he almost smasht a plate onlee de survunt kaught it. sumtimes she is kwik like a kat. espeseeally when she gifs me medicine... but dat's anodder storee....

aldough targut is a fur brain he is furry good

at begging. you kan see us in de piktshures, singing at de male survunt to hurree up an are eating owt of de biskut barrel. i am de wun wif de handsome white tummee.

targut is good at begging becos he says MEEP insted of MEOW most times. de hoomans think dis is kute. so wen i want ekstra treets an dey say NO BECOS YOO ATE JUS 5 MINOOTES AGO i get targut to say MEEP? an den dey usually gif in.

dis is kalled peepul managemunt. allso fur brain managemunt.

dis is de end of my post. now i want my treet.

Live in Malaysia and want to win cool cat prizes? Check out the Katz Tales competition! If you want to keep in touch with updates, here are some simple ways:
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Labels: Au, Au speaks out, target

posted by katztales @ 8:30 AM (13) comments links to this post | 13 comments

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Au Speaks Out: How To Trayn Yor Hooman Survants

As Au's language is too sophisticated for some audiences, he allows his personal servant Ellen Whyte to write the columns and the book in her own way. However, as Ellen has been invited to the NTV7 Breakfast Show today that runs from 830AM to 10AM, (you can see it online here now) Au has agreed very graciously to type his own message…

Helo reederz. i dont do intervoows ewesualee but aftur my big suksess Au Reveals All my feemale survant begged an begged an begged so i sed OK as long as yoo make me a hole rost chikkin. i am a verry kind kat. i no i spoil hur.

Although i am now famus bekuz of the feemale writing storees abowt me al the time, i live a very simpel life. i haf onlee two survants: the male and the feemale. Dey serve me 5 or 6 meels a day plus a few simpel snaks like ham or cheez wen i wan sumfing spesial.

I sleep on the sofa or on the bed or on the rug. Yoo kan see me sleeping in the pikchure. My onlee luksury is that i haf 3 kardbord bokses of my own. One upstairs, one downstairs and a small garden boks.

Although i like the simpel life, i heer that sum katz kannot get even one proper devoted survant. i haf herd of katz hoo DON EVEN GET MEELS SERVED ON DEMAND!!!

So tooday i want to share with thos poor katz sum tips on how to trayn yor hooman.

In this furst lesson we will diskuss how to get yor hooman survants to feed yoo wen yoo want it, not wen dey feel like it.

Hoomans ar stoopid so be payshunt. i dont believe in ewsing the klaw bekos it's kruel. Hoomans kant help not having brainz like katz. Insted, ewes purrs to enkourage dem wenever dey get sumthing rite.

Keep it simpel. Start during the day wen yor survant is awake. A good time is wen dey ar kwiatlee watching TV or reeding a buk.

First, rub an ankel to get attenshun, then look up, purr loudlee, say meow follow me, and take a step towards the kitshun where the big white boks with the food is.

Wen yoo start to walk to the kitshun, look behind yoo to make sure the hooman is following. If yor survant dusn't get the message, go bak and start again. Meow and purr until dey look yoo in the eye. Think food thots at them.

Yoo kan also be kunning. Purr nicelee. This will make dem want to stroke yor soft beeowtiful fur. Wen dey reech for yoo, step a little bit away. Wen dey half stand up to touch yoo, meow loudlee in praise, purr again, and take another step away. Always move towards the kitshun.

Yor hooman will then say sumthing stoopid like, what do yoo want then littel fuzz? Dont hiss at dem in temper! Remember, hoomans ar not klever like katz. Just meow payshuntlee, purr to enkourage, and walk dem firmlee to the kitshun.

Once yoo haf yor hooman in the kitshun, tap the big white boks where the food is with yor paw. Yor hooman will say, do yoo want sum food then? Again, dont hiss sarkastiklee. Dont klaw dem in frustrayshun. Praise yor hooman with purrs and meows for getting the messsage. Remember: yor survant kan't help being slow.

Important poynt: wen the survant puts down the bowl of food, remember to reeward dem. Rub an ankel and purr loudlee. This is not a waste of time but forwurd thinking: the better yor survant feels abowt dooing this simpel task, the eesier it is to get dem to repeet it.

Once yor hooman is trayned to get up and feed yoo during sun time, yoo kan start dem on dark time.

Hoomans ar funny abowt dere sleep. Start by wakening dem an hour before dey ewsuallee get up. Jump up in the bed, and follow the rooteen. Be payshunt but firm! Purr dem awake and then meow dem owt of bed.

If dey hide under the pillow, insert a paw and tikkel dare nose.
If dey kover dare face with dare arms, give dem friendlee enkouraging hedbutts.
If dey hide under the blankett, walk up and down onn dem.

A badlee trayned survant may throw a pillow at yoo. That's OK. Just stand round the korner of the bedrum door and meow from a posishun of safety till dey get up. Then reward yor grumpy hooman with ekstra purrs.

Yoo kan get bak at dem later for the pillow by waking dem at 1AM, 2AM and 3AM the nekst night, demanding food and then not eeting it.

I sed don ewse the klaw. I didnt say yoo shud spoil dem!

Katz Tales, Living Under The Velvet Paw is out in bookshops now. Price RM28 ISBN: 978-967-3035-64-9. For a free sneak peak and free sample story, visit http://www.lepak.com/katztalesbook.html

Au says, "buy the buk! Not only is it filed with wunnerful stories al abowt me but 10% of the feemale's share wil go to help owt kitties hoo ar living withowt the benefit of pershunal servants."

If you want to keep in touch with Katz Tales updates, here are some simple ways:

Subscribe to Katz Tales in a reader

Subscribe to Katz Tales by Email

Follow KatzTalesTweets on Twitter

Follow Ellen on Facebook.

For more cats, check out Gattina who hosts Cats on Tuesday.

Labels: Au, Au speaks out, Cats On Tuesday

posted by katztales @ 2:37 AM (19) comments links to this post | 19 comments

Friday, November 06, 2009

Au speaks as guest blogger on Bibliobuli

While Target and I rushed to Kuantan for emergency help, Au was holding court. He guest blogged at Bibliobuli, Malaysia's most popular and best known book blog. Of course, Au talked all about himself.

Helo reederz. i dont do intervoows ewesualy but as Sharon sends homidge often i haf graceeousli agreed to tak two yoo. And too tipe it myself. There is no need to fank me; just send a rost chikkin.

Sharon aksed me to shair my eksperiences as a faymus kat. Wel, what kan i say? i have always been a top kat so i am used to kontinual adorasyun."

For the rest of Au's post, visit Bibliobuli

Labels: Au, Au speaks out

posted by katztales @ 7:49 AM (4) comments links to this post | 4 comments